A couple of years ago, I met a guy at my local bar, and as soon as I beat him at eight-ball, he said he liked my eyes. We went to his place and stumbled quickly into bed, and after he slipped something on, we got down to business. He squirmed a little as he entered, and I noticed that it was very small. He shook his head mournfully. It already happened. One-night stands always work better in theory than in practice. I understood his shame, but at the same time, I envied him. There are a lot of guys like my eight-baller—in a recent NYU Medical Center survey presented to the American Urological Association, 32 percent of men characterized themselves as premature ejaculators.
My life in sex: 'It was clear my labia had been completely removed'
I had also started to realise that I had a bit of a problem. I suffered from severe premature ejaculation, which meant that most of my relationships were as short as the sex. My doubts about my ability to satisfy affected how I approached romance and I struggled to find ways to cope. The worst way was to be dismissive. After one brief incident, I remember getting up laughing — and being called a bastard. After a while, I was unable even to flirt without imagining the looks of disappointment and occasional anger that were to come. Years of holiday romances, two lovely children and one divorce followed before I met a doctor who prescribed prostaglandin — a painful injection that gives anything from a two- to five-hour erection. Finally, I could relax and take the time needed to satisfy my partners while attempting to camouflage my quick succession of orgasms. Released from the cycle of hope, disappointment and guilt, I was able to stop fixating on sex and experience real love. We have now been married for 14 years.
Of all the problems in our world, premature ejaculation seems like a small, almost irrelevant issue. That is, until you are dealing with ejaculating much too soon personally. Then the issue of premature ejaculation goes from irrelevant to the only thing on your mind.
How, exactly do you define premature ejaculation? Does it mean a guy orgasms really fast, like within a few minutes, or does it mean he just climaxes before the woman does? And what if the woman takes an hour? Is he expected to just hold out? Or does it mean the guy simply has no control over his orgasm, regardless of how long he lasts? He Said: Premature ejaculation is in the eye of the beholder. Well, hopefully not the eye. But practically speaking, regularly having your bingo before your honey qualifies as premature ejaculation regardless of how long your partner takes to climax.